Hold Me While I Faint

My new friend, Mags, is a writer. Since she’s awesome and I know she has great taste, I asked her to recommend a book for me.

The first words out of her mouth were, “Have you ever heard of Laurie Notaro.”

I had not.

I’ve been really swamped lately, and the last books I’ve read were the Twilight Series (don’t you dare judge me! I rawk, despite my teeny-bopper crazed mind). The holiday’s are coming around and I’ll finally have some downtime and I want to invest some of this time into reading a couple of books. The problem with this is that I don’t want to buy anymore books. I know, isn’t that horrible? Not even a month ago, I went through 5 boxes of books (five huge boxes) and only kept one box, the rest I gave to half-price.

It’s a shocking thing for a lot of people, but I was really scared for my safety. I’m a little person. I have no upper body strength. I was afraid the boxes would fall on me one day when I walked into my closet and I’d be left for dead. Or worse, a big bruise, because I bruise easily. It’s not pretty. And plus, I’m not really like a brown-Hispanic. I’m like a light skinned one, not like Spaniard…no, but light, and when I bruise, everyone can see it even if take my time and put enough makeup on to make Queen Elizabeth the first proud. Plus, a lot of people would get a really good deal on those books and I needed more space for photography equipment, total win/win.

Luckily, weeks earlier on the internets I read that there’s a kindle for the iPhone and best of all, it’s FREE! Heck yes! My favorite 4 letter word. FAH-REE! I downloaded it and it allowed me download a preview for one of Laurie Notaro’s books, We thought you would be Prettier. Before I knew it, I flew through the entire sample and I immediately went to download it. I finished up to chapter 4 by the time I put my phone down and had laughed about 6 times out loud. I found a new love, a woman who wrote books the way I see life sometimes. She is quirky, witty, funny and knows exactly how to word things.

I asked Mags if Notaro had a blog. She sent me a link and I signed up for her fan mail and then I saw a link to her FB. I clicked on it thinking I would be directed to her FB Fanpage. But no, it was to her personal FB account. The “Add as a Friend” button just was as big as could be, staring at me. I ‘eeked’ silently as I clicked the button even though I knew she’d see the request and just ignore it. But if there’s anything I’ve learned in life, it never hurts to ask. Am I not after all the girl who asked Dirk to marry her when she went to get his autograph? Hey, there was half a chance you’d be directing me as Mrs. Nowitzki right about now, I couldn’t pass that up!

I went about my business and days passed. Then all of a sudden I get an email alert on my phone. “Your friend request has been accepted.” Hold me while I faint.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

So of course, I had to thank her. I want to say that it took me hours to come up with an email that was good enough to save for my Emmy speech. But let’s be honest, when have you known me to be patient and wait to tell people what I have to say so it comes out like some Shakespearian art…never! I write how I talk, I talk how I write…and at that moment, this is what came out.

And as you can see, she replied.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK x’s 2.

She said, “I” crack HER up…

Me.

I’m not that funny people!! And…and…this published writer who made me laugh out loud 6 times in 4 chapters told ME I was funny. It’s like if Jordan told me I dribble really well.

Wow!

I think my friend Frank nailed it when he said: Regarding celebrities… facebook is, like, social media 2nd base, twitter is just 1st.
Yes, I completely agree.

I guess I better go, I have to go stalk my c-list celebrity friends on FB.